As each day goes by, I don't have time to reflect on myself. I'm usually the girl caught journaling in public, trying to schedule and plan out everything, and trying to reflect on myself as I go along, but frankly I can't remember the last time I really sat down and thought about it all (you know...all of life).
Yet for some reason, tonight my best friend fell asleep while talking to me and my whole family shut their lights off at 11pm. It was all quiet. No one had the sense of urgency to talk to me, no had anything they wanted to spend time with me before bed, and it wasn't even a tiring day. But, I am not complaining, I thought I could use this peaceful serenity.
That's until I logged onto my best friend's Netflix account and finished up watching season eight of "How I Met Your Mother" and as I just nearly finished- I realized everything has meaning. I was not craving to see how Barney and Robin end up where they do in season nine, I was not trying to fill up my little young heart with the adventures of the married couple, Lilly and Marshall, but instead I wanted to feel like the main character Ted.
I wanted to feel hopeful, I wanted to feel as if I still had something to reflect upon, and as if I still had a story to tell. That is why I have been so obsessed with this show. I just wanted to think and even feel what my own story is and if this show let's me explore even just the tinciest part of it while I am going about my usual days, then yes I might even buy all nine seasons on DVD.
No, I am not trying to praise the show for what I think it is. I am just amazed that although I have not been able to reflect upon things the way I am used to, subconciously I decided to find different meanings in this show as a form of reflecting.
Heck, isn't that why we watch American television? Because it tricks us into thinking we need entertainment when really we either need to reflect, find meaning within ourselves, or fill in a small missing void we might not even know exists.
So when those days arive when you just want to watch a movie or catch up on a TV show while you're alone and there's nothing else to do, do nothing, but take the opportunity.