I want to start by clarifying something. I don't hate my peers. I don't hate anyone for that matter. I dislike how I am treated with my peers and how I feel I'm not as understood as I should be among them.
Let's face it each and every day something new comes out and after it becomes a trend with a certain age group, everyone aims to get it and carry it on. However, in every group of peers there's always one or a few people that would rather crawl into a corner and blog about how the new UGGS that came out are not for them. That's me!
I'm the one the could care less about the newest fashion trend or what celebrity or show is most popular. I admit that in some cases there are certain trends I like and some cases where instead of beating the crowd I join the crowd, but it's only because society has made us all this way. We eventually give up and join the hype even for a little while.
I'm writing today to prove a point about work ethics and why working with my peers tears me up inside (well... just a tad).
How does any of what I said relate to the topic? Well I have always longed to make friends as I was growing up in a small town while I was attending a public school. I always tried to fit in. It upset me how everyone I tried to be friends with did not care to know much about me. In my head I was this wonderful little girl with a mind full of amazing ideas and creative thoughts. I believed everyone would be my friend once they knew how creative and wonderful I was, but they didn't. I was the outcast. I went from being a little girl who wanted a friend to being the geek in school no one understood. (Even today, I'm still very misunderstood).
This affected the way I worked with people my age. No one would really understand or even grasp a bit of my ideas. I knew my ideas weren't exactly right, but that didn't make them wrong either. After years of trying to reach my point across in a group, I wasn't able to. I stopped. I just went along with the groups' idea. I just joined them.
Same goes for me with work experience. I've been to two interviews over the course of three months. I haven't been able to WOW! any of my interviewers. Either I'm not getting a fair chance with anyone or I'm just not good enough.
Truth is, I grew past those days in a group project where I'd be misunderstood and realized that working with my peers just isn't for me. Whether its on a project of some sort or in a workplace. I deserve to be understood and I deserve to have someone at least try to understand me.
I mean why work for the man if the man doesn't know who I am?
I asked myself "Why is working with and for others so hard for me?" Then I answered simply, I'm too good for it. I wasn't created to mend my thoughts or bend backwards for a job. I was meant to be a complete individual. Aren't we all meant to be complete individuals?
xoxo,